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It is critical to have a conversation with prospective partners, before there is a relationship, where you discuss how “out” you are wiling to be.Set expectations early, so that everyone knows what things will look like and can consider the ramifications.They told you that you were doing it wrong, that you are bad for wanting to find someone, and that you should go read a book. A “Unicorn” is that rare, mythical figure that many couples look for, a polyamorous, bisexual woman (Yay! ), someone who might want to date both you and your partner. That means that “Unicorn Hunters” are a couple who are looking for that person to join their Dyad, to make a Triad. If you have a conversation with a new-to-Poly couple about what they are looking for and start asking some probing questions, many answers come out that are pretty consistent. You are willing to listen/read/learn and figure this out to get it right. There are some challenges between where you are now and where you want to go (likely, I’m making assumptions too!
They have been together for over a year and are open-minded, tolerant, ethical, progressive people.
Their relationship has some very good points, they genuinely care for each other, are committed, and tend to be open to new experiences.
One of our intrepid Unicorn Hunters ran into the idea of swinging/open relationships/polyamory.
Much to their mutual surprise, neither party completely dismissed the idea (maybe someone did the first time, but they came back to it later, and finally the idea stuck).
This can be said for all of the items that we’re going to discuss (which is why I chose this one first), so we’re going to return to this point frequently.
Another problem has to do with confusion around issues of entitlement.
After much foot-dragging and many late night talks, the decision was made to go for it.
But before they actually did anything precipitous, like posting in a Poly forum, they discussed these issues: Some have other specific issues that are important to them, but this list is what I’m going to focus on, and trust me, it is plenty.
I’m going to start with a very simple one, the idea of discretion.
Our Unicorn Hunters are good, thoughtful, compassionate people.